Yesterday was the day i tell myself, I Quit! Why Quit. Why such a hush decision? Why? Because I was still recovering from my a week of Flu virus when i came to school, i still have the flu, nucleus is still flowing, head is still in pain, mind is not thinking straight and i was in a bad mood. And out of a friendly lunch with a friendly comment, make me feel like i should stop doing what I'm doing.
Because of the coming 4 years in this school. i have try to use love as a way to teach my students for their good, to be a better person towards their life in the future. But what i get is more and more arrogance student thinking they are equal or better then the us. I really start thinking. I'm i wasting time? did they really learn any thing from me? or I'm i just cheating myself. The way i look at it. we are no better then anybody. we are still human. we will make wrong decision, we will scold the wrong person at the wrong time. But what make us different is we had gone through the education system, which you guys have not. That give us the right to say. What we need to say, for your good.
I going tell my story of being a student. During my secondary school time. the same as you guys. i dont do well in maths. my maths teacher keep on asking me to his other class lesson. not his office. his other class lesson. Where some of my friends are studying in those classes. once, i did not do well for his work. i didnt do his maths work properly so he ask his students to come to my class to call for me over. what will a student do? as what you guys will do. I go with that guy to see him.. once i step into his class, with out delay. he start shooting question at me that i cant answer but when i want to open my month. before i know it. a palm flew to face. A slap, in front of my friends. do i deserve it? maybe? cause i didnt do he work well. does he need to use hush force? i personally i dont think so. think of it. i might just give up on maths all because of his action. i dont even dare to tell my mom about this. back in the days teachers are god, parents will listen to whatever they say! If i tell my mom. i might just get another beating from her.
But why the change now a days? why does parents start to question teachers. because they have higher qualification? No. my mon is a JC Grad back in those day.. at that qualification she can be a teacher. Why must it continue to their daughter and son, that they can raise their voice to us. I think media have cause a problem that i dont think they can change back. movies, talk show, newspaper and magazine. all putting this trade in a telescope. Enlarging very bad things that we do. You will always hear stories of students being wrongly punishing, but when did you ever hear stuff like, when students gang up and threaten us. Once i got a student standing in front of my face. really IN MY Face. cranching his fist.. ready to strike me anytime.
WHAT make you think you can raise your voice? WHAT makes you think you are better then us? i dont care if you a CEO son, i dont care if you a emperor daughter. during the time we need to shout. we really need to shout. we dont like to shout. it makes our blood pressure higher. we dont feel good about it. We shout just to make the things go faster or smoother. thats all. guys.. i hope you guys do listen to our side of our story. cause we are human too. That's a day that we can only being stress that much. That's a day. I might just say. I Quit.
But why Quit! I Quit. cause of a friendly comment. cause i dont have a form class! cause i dont need to set exam papers. cause i dont need to mark papers, and best of all i my lesson is just a grade not a exam able subject. Do i expect to teach more, to do more work? But to think of it why i think i really want to quit is, you guys are very much dependent on us to give you answer, which is the spoon feeding way. Energy is taken every time we force and keep on asking students to do their work. Since i didnt actually do much that needs for exams and since you guys just simply didnt learn anything much life changing from me. Should i just cut the loses for both of us and just move on. Should I?
I head home with a heavy heart. i went home still thinking about whether i should or should not. We went to Hougang Mall Ichiban Restaurant to have our dinner. My wife said something that make me feel better. "Dear, you are just a human. You are too emotionally stress." during the dinner, talking about my fav nephew during the Sunday family dinner. Makes me feel better. much more better and on that moment I Decided to UnQuit myself. Cause i not a quitter. i should spend more time thinking of how to better influence you guys then just walk away. cause walking away is the easiest thing to do. And i definitely not teach you guys the right thing.
3 comments:
frankly speaking i have a lot of friends that went into teaching.. and ended up quitting.Y? Simply because they went in with a heart and love, hoping to change the life of the students. But their hopes always backfired. Sometimes using the hard way to punish students is inevitable.... And sometimes not get too emotionally attached to them is best for yourself... why do you think some old and experienced teachers can bear with all the rubbish for so long? Because, so long they feel that they've done their part, seeing batches of students come and go, fail or pass.. that's it..
So do you think that's what you want? Or are you really really still determined to be their life influence.. It's all up to you. You have a choice.
Mr.Tan, As peppermindy said, if you want to really put effort to effect students, you will have to first bear the hard times. Miss yen is an icon to me, she hardly gets stressed up but yet many students respects her as a teacher, for me and others, perhaps more, a friend...Am not assuming that she doesn't receive pressure and stuff at all but she hardly has to, she has a certain flare which she somehow respects you and you will too repect her.
But mr.tan i think you are a really good teacher. But now the crisis of teaching method is up to you, whether you want to truly put effort to make your students enjoy your lesson and remember you, even if they gradute the name "mr.tan" will not be erased from the depths of their heart. Or vice versa, teacher like any old teacher,even when you pack your bags, nothing holds you back from leaving. Not only that as you leave the school you leave in darkness, students not even acknowledging your name or cheer you on to leave for certain students.
I can't really put myself into your shoes and reall understand your situation but i hope i did help out, i know there are somethings which students won't understand...As a student i now realise as i type, we students don't focus on our weak points but blame teachers for not overlooking it, even though as i type i know i have oftenly treated teachers this way. Nobody is perfect, from what i look at it life would be much easier if kind souls don't have to change people but everyone playing apart to change themself instead, EVERYONE. :D
Regards,
Andre lim 1e2
Thanks for the support.. i think wat i want to tell in this blog is, there are so many things that can change a mood in the classroom.. students behavior, teacher other work load. Wat i trying to say is.. as teacher. we trying not to be a devil that any how scold students. but as students they need to behave like one. and not to climb over the teacher head.
we can be funny at time to make class fun to learn. but it doesnt give the students the chance to create laugher that we cant control. As i always say to my class. Teachers behave like teacher, student behave like students. dont cross that line everything is Fine.
Abt the Quiting thingy.. its other pressure that you guys wont understand if you are not in my shoe. as andre say in his comment. Just to show that we are human too. Quiting is never in my mind.. cause i love wat i do cause i always do things that i like. But sometime is just accumulative from both students and teachers who just say wrong things at the wrong time. make lots of ppl think differently.
Andre.. you a great kid.. do use your influence to help the teachers to clam the class dont.. hope that after this blog.. starting from next year. you guys will work with all your teachers to make it a fun and easy learning.
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